The Journey to Finding Strength Beyond Silence

"I am supposed to be strong they said. But how can I tell them that living up to this idea nearly killed me?" - Anonymous

Growing up as a young woman of Caribbean descent, strength was the rule. Not the kind of strength that could be shared or questioned, but a quiet, unyielding strength, the sort that made us silent warriors, keeping our feelings locked away. As a child, I watched the women around me face countless challenges. They never broke down. Never cried openly. Instead, they seemed to swallow pain as if it were air, setting an example of resilience and self-sacrifice. This was what I was supposed to become—a pillar of silent strength, one who never faltered or complained.

There is strength beyond the silence.

In our culture, this type of strength wasn’t just expected—it was demanded. Feelings, worries, and doubts were weaknesses, dismissed or brushed off. If ever I felt overwhelmed or uncertain, I would hear, “What’s your problem? Just be strong.” The message was clear: vulnerability was a luxury I couldn’t afford. I was taught to smile through pain, to focus on being “good,” composed, and, above all, to never show my struggles. But inside, it felt like I was sinking.

As I got older, I carried these expectations into my relationships, never letting my guard down and thinking that silence was strength. I would suppress every feeling that didn’t fit the mold, holding back tears, fears, and disappointments. Even when I knew I should say something, I found myself at a loss for words, because I had no experience with being open. I had been trained to ignore these feelings, to push them down until they disappeared—or so I thought.

But the truth is, emotions don’t just vanish. They wait. They settle into the body and the mind, growing heavier until eventually, they start to show themselves in other ways. I started feeling anxious and disconnected from the people I loved. I would get defensive or distant without really understanding why. My relationships suffered, but so did my relationship with myself. I felt trapped in this struggle, between the expectations of strength and the reality of my emotions that were demanding to be heard.

I wish I could say that I had an easy fix, that I discovered one simple trick that transformed my life. But unlearning silence has been a journey. I realized that real strength isn’t in denying my emotions but in facing them. I started small, with little steps toward sharing how I felt. I would remind myself that admitting I was struggling didn’t make me weak. Slowly, I’ve started learning how to put my feelings into words, how to open up in ways I never thought possible.

It’s still hard, but I’m beginning to find my voice. I’m realizing that being strong doesn’t mean being silent. True resilience is in allowing myself to feel and share my truth, even if it scares me. I am proud of my heritage and the strength it has instilled in me, but I am also learning that there is strength in vulnerability.

My journey is far from over, but each day, I am breaking the silence that held me captive for so long. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.